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Another New Year: It Doesn’t Seem Possible!
Easing Difficult Situations with a Care Manager
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Another New Year: It Doesn’t Seem Possible!
by Rona S. Bartelstone, LCSW, BCD, CMC, C-ASWCM
Time is an impossibility. Is it possible that time really does move faster as we get older? Is this an illusion? Or is it some sort of a Doppler Effect of Age – the closer we get to our source the faster time actually flies? As Judy Collins sang in the old song, “Who knows where the time goes?”
I say that a New Year is a seductive concept. Can we really start a new? Can we ever keep those resolutions that we make year after year? Will my desk ever be clean? Organized? I doubt it!
I also wonder what ever happened to all of those things that we were supposed to have in the 21st Century. Where are the flying cars that the Jetsons had? Why is it that my oven doesn’t automatically prepare our dinner each night? Where are my “smart house” and my robot housekeeper?
On the other hand, I now have really moved into the information age with a Blackberry! I work on my computer daily! And studies show that contrary to popular belief, older adults are purchasing more computers than young people! Of course, one could take issue with the definition of an older adult…55 – oh, please! But change is certainly in the wind.
So, what changes can we make that aren’t those silly resolutions that we never keep, but that can make us feel good, without a lot of effort? How can we honor the New Year, without making ourselves feel badly? A few brief thoughts;
When was the last time that you:
- Took off your shoes to walk in the grass and feel the earth beneath your feet?
- Put on music and started to dance in the middle of the day?
- Did nothing without feeling guilty about it?
- Rolled on the floor/bed with your grandchild, your dog, your cat, your best friend?
- Went for a bike ride, a walk at the beach or a stroll in the snow?
- Did something spontaneous, and just for the fun of it?
- Treated yourself to an extravagance?
- Did something for someone else…just because?
We get so caught up in the “have to” and the “should” of life – it is easy to forget to have a good time along the way. The mystical concept of balance that is so elusive is what we often need in our lives. So, I think I’ll leave the office a little early today, get in the car and see if I wind up at my favorite flower shop, at the beach or if I go to the gym.
OK, so I do have to keep working on some things…getting my exercise (ugh), eating right (where’s that apple that I thought I took out of the fridge?), getting better organized, writing those books that are in my head, getting back into my photography, taking a major trip this year, finishing the afghan that I started a decade ago, seeing more friends, having more dinner parties, taking another golf lesson. Oh, no! Here I go...
It’s too much to think about.
I think I’ll just go for a walk in the sun and see if I can quiet my crazy brain.
I hope that you have a wonderful year with good health and lots of fun!
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Easing Difficult Situations with a Care Manager
By Linda Kartell, LCSW
Quality Care Management requires a blend of knowledge, skills, values, ethics, and the professional use of self. We bring all that we are to each situation and try to do the best we can for people, in the moment, for each particular situation. Sometimes that takes us to very difficult moments in the lives of the people we serve.
For one daughter, that moment came when she was returning home, after rushing to visit her mother who had suffered a very serious fall. After spending several days visiting her mother and spending time with her father, her brother arrived to allow her to return home to her family, while making sure that their parents were not alone. The reports from the hospital trauma unit were guarded but it seemed as if her mother was showing some signs of improvement. As Sarah was getting ready to board the airplane home, she placed a call to me, her Care Manager. She had just spoken with the physician caring for her mother on the acute care trauma unit at the hospital. She was told that her mother had taken a turn for the worse and that she had to decide, right at that moment, whether they were to intubate her mother or allow her die. Sarah experienced a broad array of emotions and ambivalence. She knew that her brother and her father were on their way, at that very moment, to see her mother. She struggled with what her mother would want and realized, in that moment, that the decision was really hers because she didn’t have direction or time to consult the rest of the family. She chose intubation.
During our phone conversation, Sarah told me she was very much concerned that maybe she had made the wrong choice. In that moment, feeling strongly that what I would say to her could have a significant impact for her, I struggled internally. And then, I told her that her decision was not to be regretted. I reassured her that there was no such thing as an absolutely correct decision in such a moment. I also reminded her that what she had done was to give her father and her brother, the opportunity to be part of this most difficult situation and that could not be wrong. Sara expressed her gratitude for this support and she said this helped her and, indeed, she sounded a bit relieved. During the next couple of days, the family spent time preparing for what was surely to come next. Giving the family time to prepare for their loss was indeed a painful process, but it seemed to be the best that we could all do, at the time.
As caring professionals, we sometimes want to be able to fix things for our clients. It’s hard when we realize that we can’t always do that. However we can be there to walk with people through the wonderful, the difficult, and all the in-between moments that make up our lives. The ability to “be with” is itself a blessing for both the client and the professional. At least that’s the way I feel – even when it is painful.
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Latest News
Susan Fleischer was presented an award at the 2008 Annual Florida Geriatric Care Managers Association Conference (FGCMA) in recognition of her exceptional leadership of the Florida Chapter of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.
Congratulations to our colleague company LivHome and Bunni Dybnis for their appearance on the front page of the Sunday LA Times. Thank you for your continuing work in letting the community know about the value of care management services.
Recently held 2007 Office Party brings good spirits, smiles and fond memories for staff, clients and family members. View Slideshow
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